last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
