I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
