is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
