Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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