ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you guys were way drunker than both of me
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
