For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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