no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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