I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
My dick has a subreddit
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
