Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
