she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
