Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
