Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
why does every cop we meet know your name?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
