Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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