you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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