I seem to have left my pride at pride
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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