We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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