I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
