Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
