3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
