Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
