and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
