Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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