DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
