May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
