i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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