Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
