Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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