I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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