just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
