Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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