That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
