I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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