why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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