Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
