we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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