how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
