I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
