I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
