he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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