She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Randomize
