My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
