actually, I'm a sock model
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
