So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
