And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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