Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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