Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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