she woke up with a sticky ear
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
