Just cropdusted the office
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
