I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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