Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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