im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You ate ashes out of my bong
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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