We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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