We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
