so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
