I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
