Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
