I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
