Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
